FAMILY VALUES IN ISLAM

FAMILY VALUES IN ISLAM
By Khadija Watson

It seems that terrorism is the only projection of Islam that the media likes to display, non-Muslims are rarely introduced to any meaningful aspects of Islam. And yet, one of the growing attractions to Islam is the family values that are upheld.

Family Values:

Many are shocked to find out that Islam upholds traditional conservative family values. The children are taught to be respectful to Allah (God), to their parents and to elders. When a baby is born the first thing the parents will do is to make the call to prayer in it's ear: God is the Greatest, God is the Greatest, There is No God but Allah There is No God but Allah, Muhammad is the Messenger of God, Muhammad is the Messenger of God, Come to Prayer Come to Prayer, Come to Salvation Come to Salvation, God is the Greatest, God is the Greatest. What a wonderful thing that the very first words an infant hears is that there is a God-Allah, a Messenger-Muhammad, Prayer and a way to Salvation. This is imprinted on the mind of the infant rather then something that is foolishly and rashly spoken out.

It is the obligation of the parents to teach the children to pray and worship Allah at a young age. At the age of seven children are taught to pray and by the age of ten they are commanded to pray, at which time they will be responsible before Allah if they do not. How sweet it is to see toddlers and small children imitating their parents in prayer rather then imitating the dance gyrations of a drug using or sexually immoral popular singer.

Children are greatly loved and desired in Islam, even before the infant is born the parents are already addressed as Um (name of the child is inserted after this word), meaning mother of ______ or Abu _____meaning father of _____. Children are looked upon as a blessing from Allah and a completion of married life, before that you are only a couple but it is children that make you a family. Unlike our counterparts and so called modern thinking to limit or elimate children, children are welcomed and hold a unique spot in the family. Younger children in the family hold a special place of love and affection by older brothers and sisters. Children are not looked upon as a burden rather each life has been ordained from our One Creator God-Allah. Because Allah has ordained each life abortion is forbidden in Islam. In other words Islam is Pro-Life. Allah says in the Holy Quran that on the Day of Judgment each infant that was aborted and every child that was deliberately killed will come before the parents whether they were married or not and ask: “For what reason did you kill me?”(chapter 81:8, 9)

The mother is held in high esteem for the burden and pain in which she delivered the child and the sacrifices that she makes for her family. When the companions of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) came and asked who after Allah they should respect, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “YOUR MOTHER!” They were so surprised by this answer they asked him again. Again he (peace and blessings) said, “YOUR MOTHER.” They asked him a third time and he (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “YOUR MOTHER THEN YOUR FATHER.” Imagine, after Allah we are commanded to respect our parents. Allah tells us in the Holy Quran to honor our mothers and fathers and to show kindness and respect to them. How many times have we witnessed children and teens in public places cussing, swearing and being disrespectful to their parents? Or adult children treating their parents like they know nothing or have not a brain in their head? In Islam the advice and opinion of parents and elders are not only respected but sought out.

Homosexuality is likewise unacceptable; it is an affront to our Creator God and in injustice to mankind.

Other social aspects that are the cause of disruption to a peaceful family life such as drugs and alcohol are likewise forbidden. How many times have we heard on the news that violence was perpetuated on a wife or children or that someone was murdered while the person doing this was under the influence of drugs or the person was drunk?

Spousal abuse is of a great concern to every woman and is highly forbidden in Islam. In the United States every 4 minutes a woman is abused by beatings, usually with some form of weapon, raped or molested, and these are only the ones reported!! It is forbidden in Islam to hit or strike anyone, including children or animals across the face. No correction can be made that will be strong enough to leave any mark.

Children should also be taught responsibility as an early age and how to be helpful to the family; however we are not speaking of child labor. Their activities should be monitored and they should not be allowed to spend vast amounts of time outside with friends without a purpose or supervision or on computers locked in their rooms.

Wives and mothers are not expected to work outside of the home, although there are circumstances where it can not be helped. Allah says in the Holy Quran, (chapter 4:34 ) “…that men are the protectors and maintainers of women.” The man is financially responsible for all of the women in the family. It is not the duty of the woman to support the man or pay the bills. The woman who is working with her husband's permission is allowed to keep all of the money she earns unless she voluntarily wishes to do other wise. Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him) said, “The best place for a woman is in her home.” I am sure that are many who would like to disagree with this statement, but if we look around at the poor woman who is forced to work outside her home, we encounter not a liberated independent woman but rather a poor soul who is harassed sexually or other wise. One who has been forced to do a man's job under the guise of women's liberation while most times not receiving the same salary, and on top of working 8-12 hours a day must go home and fulfill her motherly and wifely duties: cleaning, cooking, shopping and laundry. To say nothing of the other demanding activities of school children, even to the point that often times she is forced to neglect her motherly duties , because she must work when her child is sick at home or is forced to leave her children alone for long hours each day until she arrives home from work. Many women are single mothers forced to bear the financial burden because of divorce, abandonment or many times there has been no marriage at all The woman is depraved of a normal husband-wife relationship and the children are depraved of a father and security. Islam tries to avoid these kinds of conditions that attribute to the down fall of society by allowing the mother to be the nurturer that Allah intended her to be and the husband to be the provider that Allah intended him to be.

Islam places the roles of the man, women and children into the proper perspective that will best serve the family and society. The woman is not subjugated or inferior to the man, rather each has a proper place in the Creation that Allah intended. The Family Values in Islam are ordained and highly esteemed; while the rest of the world is falling apart around us we will always have our family.