Ziyaad ibn Abeeh the Umayyad statesman, asked those who were sitting with him, “Who leads the most blissful life?” They replied, “The Commander of the Believers does!” He said, “No. The man who leads the most blissful life is a Muslim man who is married to a Muslim woman and they have enough sustenance, and each of them is happy and satisfied with their partner! This man does not know us and we do not know him!”
Who is this woman who was admired by the most eloquent and most shrewd man among the Arabs? She is the woman who is chaste and virtuous. A woman whose face is shining with purity, whose heart shines with the glory of obedience to Allaah The Almighty and whose outer appearance reflects dignity and arouses reverence. This is the woman who is faithful in dedicating her heart, emotions and thoughts to her husband. Some of the characteristics of such woman are:
· She offers sound opinions and advice: Saffaanah bint Haatim At-Taa’i may Allaah be pleased with her went to her brother after she met the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) and started to tell her brother about Islam. Her brother asked her, “What do you think of this man?” She replied, “I think we should follow him!” [Al-Isaabah 8/108]
· She sacrifices family and homeland for the sake of supporting the religion: Umm Kulthoom bint ‘Uqbah may Allaah be pleased with her emigrated from Makkah (Mecca) to Madeenah for the sake of her religion while she was still a girl who had never been married. She left her father who was an evil man, comparable to a devil in human form. After that, her brothers pursued her, so she said to the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), “Would you let them take me back [in order to] turn me back from my religion, low as my endurance is and as weak as you know women are?’’ [Al-Bukhaari 4/3945]
· Hastens to do good deeds: In the following story, the female companion gave an excellent practical example of this. The Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) had a guest and asked his wives if they had any food, but they all said that they only had water. Hence, the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) asked his Companions: “Who can host this man?” One of the Ansaar (Helpers) said that he could do that and took the guest home.
The man asked his wife to be generous with the guest of the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ), but she told him that they had nothing except a little food for their children. The husband asked her to prepare the meal, light the lamp and let the children sleep if they asked for dinner. The wife prepared the meal, lit her lamp and made her children sleep. Then, she stood up pretending to mend her lamp, but she put it off. Then both she and her husband pretended to be eating before their guest, while in reality, they really went to bed hungry.
In the morning, the Ansari man went to the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) who said: “Tonight, Allaah laughed or wondered at your action.” Allaah The Almighty revealed the verse (which means): {But give [them] preference over themselves, even though they are in privation. And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul - it is those who will be the successful.} [Quran 59:9] [Al-Bukhaari 3798]
· Her chastity is beyond what minds can conceive: Mu‘aawiyah ibn Abu Sufyaan may Allaah be pleased with him went to his wife, Maysoon bint Bahdal, accompanied by a castrated servant. On seeing the slave, [the unveiled] wife became very anxious and asked her husband disapprovingly,“Who is he?!” Her husband comforted her by saying, “Do not worry; he is just a castrated slave.” The righteous wife replied, “Still, he is a non-Mahram (marriageable man) to me; even castration does not allow for him what Allaah The Exalted has made prohibited.” She refused that the castrated slave would enter the house [while she was not wearing Hijaab (Islamic covering)]. [Al-Bidaayah wa An-Nihaayah by Ibn Katheer 148/8]
· Honors the rites ordained by Allaah The Almighty: In the year sixty-five after Hijrah, Jameelah, the daughter of the governor of Mosul, performed Hajj and had four hundred camels and many Hawdajs to the extent that one could not know on which one she was staying. She emancipated five hundred slaves and gave fifty thousand dresses to charity. (Siyar A‘laam An-Nubalaa’ by Ath-Thahabi)
· Does what is right without fearing criticism: ‘Eesa ibn ‘Allaam ‘Uthmaan may Allaah have mercy upon him said, “I was at Faatimah bint ‘Ali’s house may Allaah be pleased with them both, and a man came praising her father. She took ash and threw it at his face.” [Tabaqaat ibn Sa‘ad 8/466]
· Devout worshipper: Al-Haytham ibn Jammaaz may Allaah have mercy upon him said, “I was married to a woman who does not sleep at night [as she would be praying all the night]. I could not stay up late with her, but she would sprinkle water and nudge me with her foot while saying, ‘Are you not shy of Allaah? For how long would this snoring go on?’ (He said), By Allaah! I would be ashamed of myself considering what she did.” (Ta‘theem Qadr As-Salaah 2/ 835)
· Abstinent regarding worldly temptations. Al-Waaqidi may Allaah have mercy upon him narrated that once it was the eve of `Eed and he had nothing, so he went to one of his friends who was a merchant and borrowed one thousand dinars sealed in a bag. When he returned home, one of his friends from Bani Haashim from the family of the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) came to him and told him that he was in need. Al-Waaqidi may Allaah have mercy upon him went to his wife and told her about this. She asked, “What will you do?” He replied, “I will give him half the money in the bag!” She said, “This is nothing! One of the family of the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) comes to you and you give him half the bag!” Therefore, Al-Waqidi gave him all the money. The merchant was a friend of this man and asked him to lend him money. The Haashimi man gave him the same bag, so he recognized it. When the ruler knew about their story, he rewarded every one of their men one thousand dinars and gave the woman four thousand dinars, and said,“She is the most generous one among you!” (Siyar A‘laam An-Nubalaa’ by Ath-Thahabi 9/467)
Tolerates harm for the sake of the religion: The wife of Qays ibn Al-Khateem, who was named Hawwaa’, converted to Islam, but he used to try to avert her from Islam and annoy her while she was prostrating by pushing her and turning her over her head. While he was at Makkah (Mecca) before Hijrah, the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) was told the news of the Ansaar (Helpers) and he was told about the wife of Qays and the harm that she had been subjected to. During the pilgrimage season, the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) met him and said: “Your wife converted to Islam and you harm her and I would like you to stop doing this!” (Al-Isaabah fi Tamyeez As-Sahaabah by Ibn Hajar 8/11064)
· Patient during times of afflictions: Silah ibn Ashyam may Allaah have mercy upon him participated in a battle along with his son. He said to his son, “O son! Go ahead and fight so that I seek the reward of Allaah for losing you!” His son fought until he was killed, then Silah fought and he was killed as well. Women gathered around his wife, Mu‘aathah, so she said, “If you have come to congratulate me, then you are welcome, but if you have come for any other reason, then return!” (Siyar A‘laam An-Nubalaa’ by Ath-Thahabi 3/498)
· Keen on the interest of her children: Umm Sulaym may Allaah be pleased with her believed in the Prophet, sallallaahu `alayhi wa sallam ( may Allaah exalt his mention ) and her husband, Abu Anas, who had been away, returned and asked her: “Have you apostatized?” She said, “I have simply believed in this man!” She kept teaching their son, Anas may Allaah be pleased with him how to profess the testimony of faith. Once, as she was telling him to testify that 'there is none worthy of worship except Allaah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allaah!', his father admonished her, “Do not corrupt my son!” She said, “I am not corrupting him.” (At-Tabaqaat Al-Kubra by Ibn Sa‘d 8/425)
· Respects her husband: The wife of Sa‘eed ibn Al-Musayyib may Allaah have mercy upon her said, “We used to speak to our husbands in the same manner in which you speak to your commanders!” (Hilyat Al-Awliyaa’ 5/168)
· Endeavors to serve her husband: Asmaa’ bint Abu Bakr may Allaah be pleased with her said, “When Az-Zubayr married me, he had no property nor did he have any slave. I used to feed his horse with fodder and draw water and sew the bucket for drawing it, and prepare the dough, but I was good at baking bread. I used to carry date stones on my head from Zubayr's land which was two thirds a Farsakh (about two miles) from my house.” [Al-Bukhaari 4926]
· Shares her husband’s feelings: Once, ‘Abdullaah ibn Rawaahah may Allaah be pleased with him shed tears and his wife shed tears as well, so he asked her, “Why do you shed tears?” She said, “I shed tears because you shed tears!” He said, “I know that I will pass by Hell (on the Siraat) and I did not know if I would survive it or not.” (Siyar A‘laam An-Nubalaa‘ by Ath-Thahabi 1/236)
· Faithful to her husband after his death: Umm Ad-Dardaa’ may Allaah be pleased with her said to her husband, Abu Ad-Dardaa’ may Allaah be pleased with him: “You proposed to me in this life and my parents married me to you and I want you to be my husband in the Hereafter!” He told her, “Then, do not get married after my death!” Mu‘aawiyah may Allaah be pleased with him proposed to her after the death of her husband, but she refused. (Al-Isaabah Fi Tamyeez As-Sahaabah by Ibn Hajar 8/74)
· Diligent to learn knowledge of the Sharee‘ah (Islamic legislation). Faatimah, the daughter of Shaykh ‘Alaa’ Ad-Deen As-Samarqandi may Allaah have mercy upon him was brought up well by her father and she was a knowledgeable jurist who memorized the book that her father wrote, Tuhfat Al-Fuqahaa’. Some kings knew about what she had done; so they proposed to her, but her father refused. After this, one of the students of her father, Al-Kaasaani came and wrote Badaa’i‘ As-Sanaa’i‘, which is an explanation of the book of his Shaykh the Tuhfah, and presented it to his Shaykh As-Samarqandi. His Shaykh was very happy with this book, married him to his daughter and made this book her dowry. Her husband would sometimes make a mistake and she would correct it for him. Fatwas were passed with her approval and her father’s. After her marriage, Fatwas would have her approval, as well as her father’s, and her husband’s approval. (Al-Fawaa’id Al-Bahiyyah by Al-Laknawi)
· Seeks what is lawful and avoids what is prohibited: Maymoonah bint Al-Aqra‘ may Allaah have mercy upon her wanted to sell the spun yarn that she had made, so she gave to the spinner and told him, “When you sell it tell the buyer that it may not be tightly spun because I was fasting!” After that she went to the spinner and asked him to give her the spun yarn back as she was afraid that he might not tell people what she had told him. (A‘laam An-Nisaa’ by Ridha Kahaalah 5/138)
· Calls to the way of Allaah The Almighty. Umm Shareek may Allaah be pleased with her accepted Islam when she was in Makkah, then she started going to the women of the Quraysh secretly calling them to embrace Islam until the people of Makkah discovered what she was doing. Thus, they took her and told her that they would have punished her severely, if it were not for her family and kinfolk. They returned her to her people. (Sifat As-Safwah by Ibn Al-Jawzi 2/53)
Home 
